Unfortunately for all the readers of this here renegade upstart blog, I have been asked to contribute crap content. I’ve been racking my brain to come up with nothing but the best and most relevant topics to discuss. The thing that has been on my mind lately…has been soccer of course. I mean, NCSU football is quickly becoming a painful memory, much like my time in prison, and I’m just not ready to analyze exhibition basketball. Plus I just want to bust the soccer cherry on Thee (new) Blog. Those of you who know me, still have no idea I love soccer. That’s mainly because I didn’t start loving it until the video of that New Mexico State girl PUNISHING the competition. Anything that involves college chicks pulling each others’ ponytails is alright with me.
I may love soccer, but I know jack about it other than what I’ve gleaned from watching my niece play in her 7 year-old league. I don’t even know how many players are supposed to be on the field for each team or any position besides goalie…or is it goalkeeper? See I told you.
Since I know so little about it, that means I’m ripe to rail against it (much like personal hygiene). While watching The Daily Show, I saw an ad for EA’s FIFA Soccer video game. How in heck’s bathroom do you play a soccer video game? I guess you just use the directional pad to go to the ball, then the A-button to kick? Who goes out and buys a soccer video game? Am I starting to sound like Seinfeld? I’ll wager that if anybody owns a copy in this state…they’re a regular at WRAL Fankind. Well, if anybody knows how to play a soccer video game…you COULD tell me how to do it in the comments, but do you really want to admit it?
Well, I’m very confident that this is the exact material that Brian and Mike and all of you loyal readers are looking for on this Triangle sports blog. You’re welcome. And just to drive up the comments, I posit that Isaiah Thomas didn’t coach at all against UNC. It was his alter-ego Isaiah Thompson. Thomas…well he was on NCSU’s campus interviewing…discuss.
Hey, why isn’t there a soccer category?